Friday, 3 September 2010

That Demos report in summary

Conspiracy theorists in many ways resemble the Sawney Bean family. Don't be like them!

Do you trust the government always and in every way? Are you aware that no government has ever lied, or hidden the truth from the people? Do you rest assured that politicians, police or other 'public servants' are in fact incapable of committing crimes?

I'm sure all my readers will be able to answer with a resounding Harry-met-Sally-esque 'Yes! Yes! Yes!', because round here, we know the government, indeed everyone in the state from the lowliest postie to our most exalted Ministers, all love us, and want only the best for us. Their wisdom may not be perfect or infallible, but it's close enough! Right, everyone?

If, however, you have answered 'no' to any of these questions, I'm afraid I must ask you to turn yourself into the authorities immediately. You are an extremist, if not already a terrorist then likely to become one in the future. You are probably insane, and certainly a danger to yourself and others. Please, for pity's sake, go directly to the police and demand to be incarcerated and lobotomised. Do not speak to anyone, you may contaminate them too. If you know of anyone else who would answer 'no', denounce them.

For the rest of us, we must be vigilant. Conspiracy theorists are all around, spreading lies, the poison of distrust. Take steps to protect your loving state. If you meet anyone asking questions, ridicule them. Don't be ensnared by their 'evidence' - it will be lies. If you have any history books, burn them, take no chances. Most importantly, try not to think. The government doesn't need you to think, only obey and believe.

Summarised from the Demos report: 'The Power of Unreason'

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