Anti-smokers call for mandatory goat sodomisation

That's a fact!

No, wait, it's not a fact, it's a reductio ad absurdum ...

Whatever.

What is the reason given by the anti-smoking puritans for 'plain packaging' (which won't actually be plain, of course, but rather covered in anti-smoking graffiti)?

There seems to be two: firstly the one I comment on below - the hypnotic trance which comes upon anyone who sees a brand image of a tobacco product, over-riding their own free will and the influence of a decade of brain-washing in the schools, and turning the unsuspecting victim into a 'Manchurian Smoker'.

The other reason is; the tobacco companies don't want it. ... And? That's it. The tobacco companies don't want it, therefore WE, the puritan fanatics of the anti-smoking lobby, therefore conclude that WE do want it.

Hence we find over at their new propaganda site a page entitled 'Good Quotes on Plain (sic) Packaging', which is a list of comments from industry sources, showing their opposition to the plan. This is apparently enough to claim 'quod erat demonstrandum'.

But surely, if this is the argument, there are other things the tobacco companies will object to even more? Surely mandatory goat sodomisation at point of purchase as a condition of purchase would be even more objectionable? And if it saves one life ...

Public health measure, or pretext to amass a huge stash of goat porn? Anti-smoking groups: no comment

I know what you're thinking, dear readers: Don't give 'em any ideas! For, as we know, yesterday's parody has a nasty habit of becoming tomorrow's reality, and if there is a bottom to the pit of their fanaticism, it has yet to be plumbed.

Anti-smokers: don't look now!

Too late, you poor fools!

Now that you have seen the above image, you are in our thrall, you will be a smoker like us. Your tiny mind will not be able to over-ride the compulsion to seek out a tobacconist, to purchase if you have the money or steal if you don't and then consume the above substance (mainly Virginia, a little bit of Perique), and following a short and degraded life, die in agony. In vain you'll cry: 'if only the human mind was capable of rational decision-making!' But no, it's not, is it?

Of course, it's possible that the above image of Robert McConnell's marvellous Scottish Flake will not bewitch you in this way. But then what are you to say? Admit the truth and destroy the case you have built for imposing plain-packaging?

Vile, puritanical anti-smokers bleat about death threats

The hateful scum of the anti-smoking lobby are turning to a new weapon in their campaign of control. Using the pretext of a few colourful metaphors employed by online commenters, they are attempting to portray themselves as victims.

Personally, loving everyone as I do, I try to steer clear of making violent threats, even when I am sure no one would take them in any way seriously, because I know that such things can, by being taken at face value, be fitted into a definition of a crime. Even though I believe in free speech, unlike the vermin of the anti-smoking lobby, I think if we can avoid having to enter into tedious defences of statements which can be branded as violent threats, but are obviously not, all the better. Also, why should we sink to their own, pitiable, misanthropic level?

What the puritanical oxygen thieves of the anti-smoking lobby are attempting with this agenda is to portray those who oppose their control-freakery as part of a conspiracy of nuts run by the shadowy 'Big Tobacco'. In this way, they draw a line between those who oppose the codification of their anti-smoking OCD and everyone else, including themselves with everyone else. So the majority in the middle, between on one extreme ASH and the other the fine, upstanding people who actively hate ASH and everything it stands for, is found on the puritan side.

"Kill them all" - the evil genius behind 'Big Tobacco' unleashes his assassins

But we know, dear readers, who the real extremists are, and where that divide should be demarked - between the vile, insane, puritanical, control-freak nannies from hell of the anti-smoking lobby and most of the rest of the people, who, whether they smoke or not, understand that it is a matter for the individual in a free society.

The puritans do not, as we know, believe in free will or a free society. They do not believe that adults are capable of deciding for themselves, hence their attitude to advertising and anything which, by twisting the definition until it's facing backwards, can be called advertising. They do not, of course, want to engage in a rational debate, as this would mean having to defend the outrageous lies, half-truths and distortions of their cod-scientific quackery, and thus they have nothing to gain from such a debate, and happily for them, the establishment media treats their every utterance as if it came down from heaven.

The anti-smoking puritans are probably making a mistake to claim victimhood, and pointing the finger at certain bloggers, a number of whom publish detailed analysis on just how dishonest, deranged and coproplenic the anti-smoking lobby is.

Hat tip: Longrider

David Hockney: Hero

David Hockney puts a steel-toe-capped boot where it most deserves to go; into the bollocks of health nazis and joyless authoritarians, such as the much-loathed Andrew Lansley, so-called health minister in the current regime.

I recommend it highly.

Hat tip: DK