Saturday, 26 February 2011

In defence of the English language from enemies foreign and domestic

I am the first to admit a willful ignorance of contemporary popular culture. My taste in music is broad, but hardly driven by the "what's hot" column of some tabloid newspaper. I rarely go to the cinema. I own no television. I buy no newspaper. I manage to get through life with the scantiest knowledge of Justin Bieber. But I can't escape forever, my leafy linguistic arbour is threatened. Thus I feel urged to declare war on one word and to seek its extirpation. That word is 'simples'.

As I say, I don't have a television, so puppets in adverts do not influence me or the language I use. To those of you who are; have some fucking pride and speak properly.


Quiet_Man said...

The thing about English which makes it such a wonderful language is that it continually adapts and uses bits and bobs of other languages and phrases. Simples is just one of a number of recent adaptions to the language, neither good nor bad, simply now English.
Fraid you'll lose on this one.

Tippex Monkey said...

I couldn't agree more, TT!! I'm all for the evolution of language but when people start using the catchphrase of a company thinking it's witty then a little piece of me dies.

They've become part of the free advertising the company wanted and the advertising execs involved will all get together for a big circle jerk thinking "we've done it! We've reach advertising nirvana. Now pass me some more coke."

I love creative advertising but I'm not weak enough to fall victim to the desire of marketing wankers. And 'simples' is exactly what that is.

I'm armed and ready for your assault.

Trooper Thompson said...


Whether or not I am victorious is immaterial. The truth must be told, and people who parrot advertisement puppets are idiots. I'll forgive children for doing it, but not adults.


thank you for your support.Don't wait for orders, attack whenever the opportunity arises.

William said...

The fact Justin Biebers name is spoken at all disappoints me!

Trooper Thompson said...

Dude, you've just compounded the error!

Angry Exile said...

I thought 'simples' was just an internet meme, probably lolcat related. It's a fad and it'll pass. In the meantime the correct reaction when someone uses it (and I've done so myself) is to reply with 'Oh noes'.


Tippex Monkey said...

Alas Angry Exile, it's no lolcat creation. It originates from a British ad for an online price comparison website called

Their mascot is a Russian meerkat (just go with it) who promotes a website called His catchphrase is "simples" and a whole narrative now runs through the ads much like the Nescafe ones in the UK and Australia did for years.

Through this annoying character and its catchphrase, the masses have latched onto it and find the whole thing hilarious and all the relevant merchandise has followed from t-shirts to toys and a top selling novelty book. When will people realise they have been lured into the trap of providing free advertising! Argh!!

I'm aware I'm doing the same but writing this but I've avoided providing links to the bits I've referenced. By doing this it's a small victory in my mind.

Trooper Thompson said...


'Oh noes'

for some reason I find that very funny.


thanks for the back-story (I think).

alison said...

That's nothing. Text messaging, the web such as Facebook etc ...all having a far greater malign influence over our language

Trooper Thompson said...


I can only chop off one hydra head at one time.