Tuesday, 15 June 2010

Ken Clarke proves his worth: anyone got change for a brass farthing?

With a shit-eating grin only the true scat-munching connoisseur can pull off, Ken Clarke laughs in the face of victims of crime across the land. In his new role as (subversion of) Justice Secretary, he intends to carry on exactly where the last terrible government left off. With his wealth and our money to pay his bodyguards, he doesn't have to concern himself with the vile criminal trash who make so many common people suffer, so what does he care if they are set free to continue their crimes?

Ken Clarke, you are the criminals' friend and the enemy of all good citizens who wish to live a peaceful, secure life, and you should remember that the true Law is clear: where courts cannot uphold our rights, and the government won't listen, no alternative remains but to defend ourselves and our property with whatever weapons we possess.

6 comments:

Leg-iron said...

Just make sure the bodies aren't found, or aren't traceable. It's not hard.

It's not as if burglars have told anyone where they're going for the night, after all.

Corrugated Soundbite said...

I'll bet they still lock up little old ladies who don't pay council tax.

I agree with Leg-iron. If anyone breaks in, make sure they don't get back out again.

Corrugated Soundbite said...

I meant to say "can't afford" to pay their council tax.

Trooper Thompson said...

Leg-iron,

I've watched enough 'Sopranos' to hazard a try.

CS,

there's one 'offence' they'll still throw the book at - 'taking the law into one's own hands'.

girl x said...

Why do they still wear those wigs, and why don't they feel silly doing so?

Trooper Thompson said...

x,

when they have gutted everything of value from the inside, all the more reason to keep the trappings on the outside.