The 'Guardian Comment is Free' challenge

The challenge is thus: how far can you get through this Comment is Free article before shouting 'you utter, utter nob!' or words to that effect?

Can you get past the title?

"Who's correct about human nature, the left or the right?"

The subtitle?

"Most conservatives see it as 'common sense' that humans are selfishly competitive – but things looked different pre-capitalism."

I know you're straining now. What about the first paragraph?

When the political right confront the left in debate, the arguments of the former usually boil down to a simple underlying idea: that the left's "grand projects" of social change are incompatible with human nature. Those on the left, in this view, do not understand – or cannot bring themselves to accept – the grim reality in relation to the fundamental determinants of human behaviour. Human beings are essentially selfish, greedy, competitive, individualistic and generally unpleasant. This nature, furthermore, is fixed and immutable.

Gaaahhh! You fucking twat! No more, no more...

Rather conveniently, we happen to live in the kind of social order that is most in tune with our natural inclinations – a capitalist free market economy. In fact, for conservatives, capitalism is not really a discrete "system" at all; it is simply the natural and spontaneous state of things.

That's it. Enough. There may be some acorn of insight further down, but I'm not burrowing into shit to find it.

Maybe I will read on, but only through my own perversity or twisted sense of duty. See if you can do better.