Tuesday 3 May 2011

Obama captures unicorn

Uncontrovertible proof from Obama's mobile phone

The world is reeling with joy and wonder at the news President Obama managed to capture a unicorn, a creature hitherto believed to be mythical.
"I was just strolling out back of the Whitehouse, and there it was, nibbling at the roses. Well, I immediately leaped into action, and wrestled the creature to the ground. I let it go afterwards, because it seemed a bit sorry for itself, but it was definitely a unicorn."
A spokesman revealed there is plenty of evidence backing up the discovery, but due to the immense credibility of the President, none of the world's media is expected to press for its release, although the usual tin-foil-hat-wearing conspiracy loons will no doubt unremain unconvinced.

10 comments:

nominedeus said...

Hah I like it Trooper...I like it a lot!

Angry Exile said...

Might say more about Bazza's domestic life than we wanted to know - I thought you had to be a virgin to catch a unicorn.

Trooper Thompson said...

Oh really...

No problem. A little tweak...

"The Whitehouse has further clarified events. In fact Obama was with his two lovely daughters at the time, who managed to grab hold of the previously believed to be non-existant creature. 'Daddy can we keep him as a pet?' said one of the little cherubs."

Photoshop to follow.

alison said...

LOL. I'm pretty sure they got him Trooper though I could have done without Obamas little to camera piece about how fucking great he is. Ten years and two wars too late mate. It's wonderful news for the families of the deceased who deserve recognition here. And of course for America which hasn't been itself since 9/11. Obama hasn't changed and cannot change that. The place is a shadow of its former self

Trooper Thompson said...

I don't think America's been the same since the government murdered Kennedy.

Ever since then, they've had Laurence Fishburne standing in front of them, holding two pills.

America can save itself if it wants to, but I guess so could have Rome...

As of yet I've seen nothing to make me believe this latest episode. The fact that every msm source is talking of nothing else and still questioning nothing (at least this is my perception of the English media) and that Obama and the gang say it's so, carries negative weight with me.

alison said...

The whole mission was tweeted. By the guy next door. That was all I needed to read. Plus there are witnesses and they havent denied the claims he is dead. Im glad he is dead. Im glad even if he isnt really dead but everyone is saying so - it all has same effect. The wind is being taken out of the Al Qaeda's PR campaign sails. For too long we have been giving these people a sense of permanence, superiority, power over all of us. The effect of this is plain when I argue with young men dressed in tea towels and sporting long ugly beards up at Speakers Corner. Every weekend I challenge them every weekend they try to fear monger and present themselves as unbeatable. They are like a bunch of gangsta wannabees and I hate their sorry arses. I was surrounded and threatened by about 12 of them at the end of last year for daring to suggest how lame they all are and arguing them into a corner. Everyone else was terrified. It fucking pisses me off that we allow them to operate like this, with this sense of power. They love it.

Well not anymore. Truth or lie. I really don't care. The media in Pakistan are busy reporting that his daughter witnessed his slaughter. And that's all we need! PR Job done.

Trooper Thompson said...

"Truth or lie. I really don't care."

There's all the difference in the world between the truth and a lie. I recognise in rhetorical debate with islamic nuts, this is a victory, but the evidence is non-existant, and the lack of desire from the media to see any evidence is disturbing.

Besides all this, there would be a better case for telling all the nutters to fuck off back to their own countries if we weren't so heavily involved in their countries - and the very same Al Q. operatives weren't our allies in Libya, as they were in Bosnia and other places.

Trooper Thompson said...

btw it isn't a new thing to suggest he's been long dead. Check out this crazy conspiracy site; the Daily Mail from 2009:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1212851/Has-Osama-Bin-Laden-dead-seven-years--U-S-Britain-covering-continue-war-terror.html

alison said...

Il est mort. Even Al Q first out the gate to issue videos proving he is alive in the past, have announced his death. As did his wife and daughter. Good riddance to him. Though he didn't suffer and I'm not in awe of the Navy Seals the way some are. I think America looks weak.

Trooper Thompson said...

Oui, je suis sure qu'il est mort, mais...

there are those of us who take statements from AQ picked up by Washington-based spook organisations, who have been implicated in faking such material in the past on face value, and there are those of us who don't. I accept I may be wrong in all this, btw, but I shall remain sceptical, and note that the big lie is always believed more than the small lie, as somebody once said.

But hopefully we can still be friends :)